A Word for the Year.

The start of a new year is always an exciting time! The promise of a fresh start is renewed as resolutions are created, lists are made and new adventures are planned. I especially enjoy reflecting over the past year and pondering God's faithfulness through yet another 12 months. That enjoyment turns to excitement when I think and pray about what He has in store for the next 12 months. I typically come up with several (unrealistic) resolutions and then fall off the wagon by February. I end up disappointed but brush it off with the thought, I'm sure it will be a good year anyway. This is more of an assumption to quell my feelings of failure rather than an active belief in God's faithfulness.

Knowing the pattern I've gotten myself into, I decided to do things differently this year. I made no written resolutions or goals. Yes, there are many things I need to improve on and want to change, but clearly I needed a new approach. I asked the Lord to give me a word and a scripture for 2016. My desire was to have a theme for the year that would weave a common thread through each moment and season, all pointing me back to Jesus. I needed simple and straight forward and this seemed to be both.

As I sat on December 31st with my Bible and journal in hand, almost immediately the word Abide popped into my mind, along with the passage from John 15. I flipped the pages until I arrived at Jesus' words about the Vine and the branches. I read the first part of the chapter:

The Vine and the Branches

1  “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2  He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3  You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

5  “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6  If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7  If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8  This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

9  “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10  If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11  I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12  My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14  You are my friends if you do what I command. 15  I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16  You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17  This is my command: Love each other.

Wow. What rich and beautiful words. Jesus' words to his best friends, his disciples. And his words to us. Remain in me. ABIDE. This very word invokes a sense of rest, peace and security. Not in the world and its fickle ways. But in Jesus, the lover and saver of our souls. He gently reminds us that we can do nothing apart from him, nothing that is good or lasting. He reminds us that we can have complete joy in him and the strength to really love others. He gave us a perfect example of what a life connected to the Father looks like. Then he died for our sins, though he had committed none. And now he calls us friends.

After reading and considering the passage that I would make my theme for 2016, I realized I needed to make one goal. More of a resolve to become, rather than a resolution to do. Here it is:

Become a true disciple of Jesus.

This has already been a desire of mine and there are a million ways I've already failed. We attended a seminar at our church recently and one of the sessions was called "Becoming a Disciple." I knew immediately which one I had to attend! What a gift to have received this extra encouragement right at the beginning of the year. It felt like the Lord was saying I want this for you too. The speaker discussed spiritual disciplines of being a disciple (prayer, studying Scripture, worship, serving, solitude) and also touched on guilt vs. grace. If we are focused on our performance and checking off the disciplines as if they are duties, we will experience guilt and failure when we don't measure up. Conversely, if we focus on trusting Jesus, we will be able to practice these disciplines by his grace.

Abide. To me, this word embodies an assured calm that is reflective of Christ's character. The dictionary says that abide means to 'continue in a place, to sojourn.' That's what we are to do as disciples of Jesus. To journey with him, but to remain stationary in him. He tells us to "remain in his love." What a lovely dwelling place. Let us be the branches we are meant to be. And let Jesus be the vine. The result will be beautiful, lasting fruit!

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Beach books.

We will be vacationing on the beach in a few short days and I'm so excited! Reading books is something I've always enjoyed but never seem to have the time to do... so I want to make it a priority when we go on our trip. (And I want the priority to continue when we return to reality!) I have a bad habit of buying books that sit un-read or half-finished collecting dust on my nightstand. The pile of said books will be coming with me to Florida and by golly, they are going to get read!

I'm especially excited for the book & workbook "You and Me Forever" by Francis and Lisa Chan. I've read several books by Francis and would highly recommend all of them! (Crazy Love and the Forgotten God) "You and Me Forever" is a marriage book with a radical, eternal perspective. The Chans wrote it after returning from their 20th anniversary trip where they spent time serving in Africa. 100% of the proceeds from the book are donated to various ministries and you can even download the audiobook for free! Check out the website here. My hope is that Taylor and I can listen to the audiobook on our 12 hour drive and then go through the workbook a little each day. That will be such a treat!

I'm also looking forward to learning from the book: "The life-changing magic of tidying up" by Marie Kondo. Have you heard of it? I've read the first section and it's so interesting! One of the 'tasks' prescribed by the author is to take every single piece of clothing from your drawers & closet and put them on the floor. I'm strangely excited to do this, but also a little bit nervous... I have an inkling that I'm going to be repulsed by the sheer size of the pile despite my habitual "I-don't-have-anything-to-wear" feeling. Regardless, I hope this book can inspire a life with less stuff in our home and more space for things that matter- loving on people & creating memories!

The other two books are ones that I have been working on for some time now... they're the dust-collecting repeat offenders. They're good books but I just need to stick a fork in them and be done. Wish me luck!

"Gift from the Sea" by Anne Morrow Lindbergh (wife of Charles Lindbergh)
"The Big Disconnect" by Catherine Steiner-Adair

What good books have you read lately? Please share! (Along with any tried and true tips on how to read a book cover-to-cover in a reasonable amount of time. Ha!)

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A strand of pearls.

A story has been on my mind lately and I want to share it with you. It's about pearls! Sounds fancy, right? I first heard this story at a retreat I attended in high school. It was told as part of a talk given by a godly role-model-of-a-woman who is also the mother of one of my dearest friends. The story deeply resonated with me that first time I heard it, and I still get goose bumps every time I read it again. I haven't been able to figure out who the author is, and have found several different versions online. (If anyone knows who wrote the original story, please let me know!) So, here it is, with a few of my own words added:

"Jenny was a cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls who was almost five. Waiting
with her mother in the checkout line, she saw them: a circle of glistening
white pearls in a pink foil box. "Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them?
Please, Mommy, please?"

Quickly her mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked
back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.
"A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them,
I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough
money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday is only a week away and you might
get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma."

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her piggy bank and counted
out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and then 
went to the neighbor's house and asked if she could pick dandelions for 
ten cents. On Jenny's birthday, her Grandma gave her a new dollar bill and 
at last she had enough money to buy the necklace. She was so excited and the next

day her mother took her to the store to buy it.

Jenny loved her pearls.  They made her feel fancy and grown up. She wore 
them everywhere - Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she 
took them off was when she went swimming or took a bubble bath. Her mother said if 
they got wet, they might not hold up very well.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed,
he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story.
One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"

"Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you."
"Then give me your pearls."
"Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess - the white horse
 from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one
 you gave me. She's my favorite."
"That's okay, Honey. Daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek
 with a kiss.

About a week later, after story time, her daddy asked again,
"Jenny, do you love me?"
"Daddy, you know I love you."
"Then give me your pearls."
"Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new
one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow
blanket that matches her pajamas."
"That's okay, little one. Sleep well. God bless you, Daddy loves you."
And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed
with her legs crossed and head bowed low. As he came close, he noticed her chin
was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

"What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?" 

Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. When
she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she
finally said, "Here, Daddy. This is for you." With tears gathering in his own 
eyes, Jenny's kind daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime-store 
necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a 
blue velvet case with a strand of beautiful, genuine pearls and gave them to 

Jenny. He had them all along! He was just waiting for her to give up the 

dime-store stuff so he could give her the genuine treasure.

So it is with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give up the cheap
things in our lives so that he can give us beautiful treasure."

I can't read those words without getting a lump in my throat! What a tender picture of God's love for us. He is so gentle with us! He never demands or berates, never shames or manipulates. He simply asks and loves us anyway when we choose to do the opposite. I picture myself as the little girl, with my fist tightly clenched around my own string of cheap pearls. They are my plans, my hopes, my desires. Keyword= mine. And when asked to surrender then, I just can't seem to give them up. 


Why is it that we believe that God's plans aren't as good as our own? Why do we believe the lie from Satan that God doesn't love us enough to give us truly good things? Instead we come up with our own half-rate, dime-store versions and attempt to stay content with those things. But we never are. We want more, better, different. And when God offers just that, we either ignore or refuse.


"God, not my pearls! Why do you want me to give them up? Don't you want good things for me? Don't you love me?"


I don't actually say things like that... do I?


We ask so many questions! We need to ask less and trust more. He is more than worthy of our trust. Our perspectives must change. What is good? God's definition of good is perfect, unconditional, and unchanging. Our earthly definition pales in comparison- goodness/happiness/joy depends on things that are flawed, ever-changing and dependent on humans. MY plans, hopes & dreams. Deep down I know they are second-rate compared to what the Lord has for me. But do I believe this enough to act? To hand over my fake pearls for His genuine strand of real ones? It's really a trust issue. Do I trust God enough to let go of my plans and to live my life with an open hand? Even if my definition of "good" isn't the end result? 


What is your strand of cheap pearls? What are you holding back from God? What do you need to surrender to Him, in faith & trust? Relax that fist and offer up open hands in worship to Him. He will meet you right where you are and be everything that you need. He will be so pleased with your gift!


My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise. {Psalm 51:17}



The motivation for sacrifice shouldn't be what we get in return. The guarantee of "better" shouldn't be what drives us to this action. His perfect goodness will most certainly be the result, though it may be different than our original expectations. And I think this is just as it should be!

I'm thankful that the Lord has been reminding me of this lately. I needed a wake up call. I've gotten so focused on my desires & plans that I haven't had open hands. It's been affecting my ability to believe that God truly has good for me. I've had trouble trusting Him. It's been playing out subtly in my attitudes & actions. When this happens, I miss out on the fullness of life that is available when I completely surrender to Him. Here You go, God. Here are my pearls. I know You love me, I know You have good for me. I believe that with my head and my heart. Thank You for Jesus. Thank You for loving me. Thank You God, thank You.

We sang a song at church this morning that incorporated the chorus of the hymn 'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus.'  Could anything be more true or beautiful to consider? Even better than a million strands of genuine pearls!

Panama City Beach, FLORIDA

Spring 2009

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A wretch like me.

The Lord has been trying to get my attention in the past couple weeks. The theme of His prodings?

Grace.

God's gentle shoulder taps came in the form of songs on K-Love Radio... "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound...," scripture, sermons, conversations and even the Francine Rivers fiction book I just finished this weekend. (It was a really good read! The title is Bridge to Haven.) I brushed it off at first assuming that I knew what He was trying to tell me. Yep, thanks, God. Your grace is pretty amazing. I definitely need it. Keep it coming. Being on the receiving end of His grace is an unbelievable gift. I don't want to minimize how desperately I need God's divine, unmerited mercy... my life depends on it. But receiving it is not all that hard. I think the message I needed to hear was not how to receive the heavenly gift of grace, but how to give grace. I can accept gifts right up there with the grabbiest of 2 year olds... but giving is another story. And buying birthday gifts for my siblings doesn't count.

"I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing." Galatians 2:21

Today I finally realized what I think God has been trying to tell me- I do not give grace well. Actually, I have been flunking at it recently. I did a quick self-evaluation. I am critical, impatient and judgemental. Lord, help me to do something about this... you're right. We've got ourselves a problem here.

I sat down with my Bible, journal & favorite pen, ready to dig into the feast that is God's Word. (Speaking of feasting, I was also accompanied by a few of these cookies which were delicious and chewy with just enough sweetness.) I looked up the definition of "grace" and "gracious" and then I flipped to the back of my ESV Study Bible to the concordance section and listed out references of verses containing those words. After some time filtering through God's perspective on grace and what Jesus taught and demonstrated regarding the topic, I started to get a glimpse of what needed to change. Referring to Galatians 2:21 (above), if we didn't need God's grace, then Christ's death was useless. Similarly, if I do not act graciously toward others, then my acceptance of Jesus acting graciously toward me is pointless. That's a powerful thought and is certainly not something that I want to have demonstrated in my life.

After considering some un-gracious things that I do, and God-storming (brainstorming with God's help... is that a thing?) how I can present grace to others in those situations, I started to get a clearer picture of how I can be more like Jesus. I read Psalm 103:8 and it struck a chord in my heart.

"The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love."

No room for impatience, frustration, rudeness or criticism there. God, make me like You! We shouldn't be able to help but share His grace with others! Cue the choir! Oh how wonderful and sweet is His grace! Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me!

Broken Vessels by Hillsong- you've got to listen to this!

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Worship.

A friend and I are going through a fantastic workbook called Discipleship Essentials: A Guide to Building Your Life in Christ by Greg Ogden. Have any of you read it? It's so dense with mind-stretching truth it's overwhelming! But a really good kind of overwhelming.

I just started the chapter entitled "Worship" and I didn't even make it through the first paragraph without being hit with the one-two punch of conviction. As a member of the body of Christ- the church- there are many important functions that come with the territory. Giving, serving, fellowshipping, learning, out-reaching, worshipping... just to name a few. But what is our primary purpose as the church? Worship. 

"You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being." Revelation 4:11

Why? Because worship is and will be our "eternal vocation." Whoa. Once we enter the Heavenly dwelling of our Father's house, we will worship. Forever and ever. And ever!!!! How amazing does that sound?! But day one in heaven isn't meant to be day one on the job. We are to worship each day while we live this life on earth. We were created by God to worship. We are meant to worship! He made us in His image to be worshipers for life! It's our primary vocation.

But who and what do we worship? Now that's the question. It's not whether or not we worship, it's who or what we worship. Cue the one-two conviction punch in my gut. When I'm not worshiping God in my thoughts, words, actions, lives... I am worshiping cheap substitutes that never amount to anything godly or good. The fact is we're really good at worshiping.... the wrong things. When I am not worshiping God, I am worshiping any and all of these things:

• comfort & stability
• safety
• financial security (money)
• health
• career
• others' thoughts and opinions about me
• my goals, hopes, dreams
• people I admire/idolize
• possessions
• myself

Maybe you can relate. These "false gods" creep in so subtly that they can be hard to recognize, until the time is taken to really consider the priority list of our lives. Do I value the things listed above more than I value God? Yikes. Do I give more time worrying about the things above than I do to talking with God about them? Are these things constantly occupying my mind & heart? Do I have a heard time letting go of these things? Do these things dictate my actions?  Do they affect my trust in the Lord? Double yikes. 

The fact is that I should not even be valuing the things listed above. At all. They are of this earth, they will pass away. Will any of them matter in eternity? No. None. Of. It.

Paul tells us in Philippians to "consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ." (chapter 3, verse 8) Garbage? I don't worship garbage. Do I? Compared with Jesus, everything should pale in comparison. Everything else should become not that great, take-it-or-leave-it, meh.

There is no greater treasure, no greater occupation, no greater JOY than being a true worshiper of our Creator! May He give us the strength and clear vision through his Holy Spirit to fulfill our eternal vocation here on this earth, and forever!

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Squeaky clean.

There has been a bug going around at our house- a cleaning bug. This is a good thing seeing as we still have lots to clean! We have laminate wood flooring in the kitchen and bathrooms and they have been in need of a good scouring ever since we moved in. I like the idea of natural cleaning products and try to buy less chemical-filled stuff a much as possible but I can also appreciate products (more so the toxic ones) that get the job done. Everything in moderation, as my grandmother used to say. 

I decided to make my own cleaner today because I didn't have anything I thought would really do the trick. I searched online and found the same "recipe" on a few different sites.

1 gallon water (I used very warm water)

A few squirts of dish soap

1/2 cup vinegar

1/3 cup rubbing alcohol 

 The claim was shiny, dirt and streak free floors- so I took before and after pictures for some extra satisfaction. 

Before:

After:

I was happy with the results- plus Taylor even noticed and commented that the floor feels cleaner :) Despite vinegar being his least favorite smell in the whole world. Does that make me a mean wife? ;) I went Cinderella in my technique and used a bucket and a rag and scrubbed on my hands and knees because it was that kind of dirty. (Then I went over top with a clean wet rag followed by a dry towel). But, for a lighter job you could use a regular mop or swiffer mop, or a spray bottle and microfiber cloth. (The spray bottle combo is 1 part of each: water, alcohol & vinegar and a few drops of dish soap)

I'd love to learn about more natural cleaning tips and tricks- if you have any send them my way!

Happy cleaning!

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Before and After!

Here is the first installment of before and after... Guest bathroom edition!! 

With the help of my friend Currie, this was a quick makeover. (Thanks Currie!) We painted the walls with Valspar soft gloss paint in 'granite dust.' We still need to re-paint the trim and doors, and change the outlets and switchplates to white instead of cream. (Taylor will be doing the electrical work- not me! For good reason.) We have much more painting in our future- but I need to ice my wrists before picking up a brush again :)

Before:

After:

This soap is my new favorite thing.... I found it at Target, my other favorite thing. 

And of course, this towel is from Target too. I'm loving their new Threshold line- also very dangerous to our budget. Good thing towels aren't too expensive. :)

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