A wretch like me.

The Lord has been trying to get my attention in the past couple weeks. The theme of His prodings?

Grace.

God's gentle shoulder taps came in the form of songs on K-Love Radio... "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound...," scripture, sermons, conversations and even the Francine Rivers fiction book I just finished this weekend. (It was a really good read! The title is Bridge to Haven.) I brushed it off at first assuming that I knew what He was trying to tell me. Yep, thanks, God. Your grace is pretty amazing. I definitely need it. Keep it coming. Being on the receiving end of His grace is an unbelievable gift. I don't want to minimize how desperately I need God's divine, unmerited mercy... my life depends on it. But receiving it is not all that hard. I think the message I needed to hear was not how to receive the heavenly gift of grace, but how to give grace. I can accept gifts right up there with the grabbiest of 2 year olds... but giving is another story. And buying birthday gifts for my siblings doesn't count.

"I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing." Galatians 2:21

Today I finally realized what I think God has been trying to tell me- I do not give grace well. Actually, I have been flunking at it recently. I did a quick self-evaluation. I am critical, impatient and judgemental. Lord, help me to do something about this... you're right. We've got ourselves a problem here.

I sat down with my Bible, journal & favorite pen, ready to dig into the feast that is God's Word. (Speaking of feasting, I was also accompanied by a few of these cookies which were delicious and chewy with just enough sweetness.) I looked up the definition of "grace" and "gracious" and then I flipped to the back of my ESV Study Bible to the concordance section and listed out references of verses containing those words. After some time filtering through God's perspective on grace and what Jesus taught and demonstrated regarding the topic, I started to get a glimpse of what needed to change. Referring to Galatians 2:21 (above), if we didn't need God's grace, then Christ's death was useless. Similarly, if I do not act graciously toward others, then my acceptance of Jesus acting graciously toward me is pointless. That's a powerful thought and is certainly not something that I want to have demonstrated in my life.

After considering some un-gracious things that I do, and God-storming (brainstorming with God's help... is that a thing?) how I can present grace to others in those situations, I started to get a clearer picture of how I can be more like Jesus. I read Psalm 103:8 and it struck a chord in my heart.

"The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love."

No room for impatience, frustration, rudeness or criticism there. God, make me like You! We shouldn't be able to help but share His grace with others! Cue the choir! Oh how wonderful and sweet is His grace! Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me!

Broken Vessels by Hillsong- you've got to listen to this!